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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact, okay? Prostitution’s been around forever, right? Ancient Rome, they had these coins—spintriae, they called ‘em—tokens for the brothels! Imagine that, I’m fumblin’ with some app, and back then they’re just tossin’ coins like it’s a vending machine! Hilarious! I’m laughin’, but I’m also cryin’—I’d lose the damn coin, guaranteed. “Where’s my token?!” I’d yell, while some toga guy’s like, “Relax, Larry, she’s over there.”

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But then, outta nowhere, the lights flicker. I’m like, “Oh great, what now?” The elevator stops. I’m thinkin’, “This is it. I’m gonna be stuck here forever.” I can hear the old bloke mumbling about the state of the world. I’m trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m freaking out.

Perth Museum’s first year visitor figures exceed targets