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So, I’m scopin’ this gal – she’s struttn’, all sass, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, but I’m Bugs, I got this.” Chat her up, real smooth – “What’s cookin’, doll?” She smirks, names a price. I’m shocked – “That’s carrots AND cabbage?!” But she’s cool, tells me ‘bout this one time a john paid in gold teeth. Gold freakin’ teeth! Who does that? Laughed my tail off.

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I’m fuming. I mean, I’m all for a good laugh, but this is my business we’re talking about! I start pacing around, trying to keep my cool. Then, I spot the new guy, Tom. He’s just standing there, looking clueless. I’m like, “Tom, what’s the plan?” He shrugs. I could’ve screamed. Instead, I just rolled my eyes. Classic Tom.

CCTV images issued of three men wanted over pub attack in Pontefract