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About Leeds

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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After that, I head to the café on Market Place for a breather. Grabbed a latte—thank God for caffeine! I sit down, and who do I see? My mate Dave! He’s got this massive grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, mate?” Turns out he just sold a house on Cables Street for a mint. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jelly.

Pharmacy celebrates extension and refurbishment with special visit