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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute via radio? Mad, messy, brilliant. Angry at the prudes, happy she weren’t a troll, surprised she didn’t stab me. Total chaos, like *A Separation* – “No one knows the truth,” mate, and I don’t care! Next time, I’m tunin’ in again – you lot can sod off with your judgy bollocks. Cackle cackle, over and out!

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Anyway, I finally get the scones in the oven, and I’m feelin’ pretty chuffed. But then, the door swings open, and in walks young Jamie. He’s a cheeky wee lad, always up to no good. “Got any of those chocolate éclairs, Mr. Baker?” he asks, eyes wide like he’s just seen a unicorn. I’m like, “Aye, but they’re for the café on Church Street!”

Perfect ending as Scottish independent bookseller of year marries crime writer in her own shop