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I’d toss in humor, tho—can’t be all doom. Like, one chick’s all, “Ten bucks, big boy,” and you’re like, “For THAT?!” Sarcasm’s my jam. Maybe a mini-game where ya haggle—total chaos, I’d suck at it. Mmm… donuts, wish I could trade THOSE instead. Oh, and get this—there’s a real story from Amsterdam where a guy hired a prostitute just to talk bout his dog. Swear it’s true! I’d sneak that in, make players laugh or cry, whatever.

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‘Another moral victory’: Chris Sutton’s take on Rangers' draw with Celtic