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About Leicester

Her fave trick? Bloke pays, she nicks his watch—cheeky mare! Made me smirk, gotta admit. “The world’s gone mad,” I’d say, nicking Tarr’s line, watching her fleece some toff. Exaggerating? Maybe—she once claimed she bedded a duke! Bollocks, but I lapped it up, picturing her in ermine.

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Then, I head to the park near the Alloa Leisure Bowl. I need a breather. I plop down on a bench, and this wee dog runs up to me. It’s all waggin’ its tail, and I’m like, “Aww, mate, you’re the highlight of my day!” I start petting it, and the owner comes over, all apologetic. “Sorry, he’s a bit of a nuisance.” I’m like, “Nah, he’s a legend!”

Plans to serve up Turkish food and coffee shop approved