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Here’s the kicker—some prossies got stories, wild ones! One gal told me—well, not me, Trump don’t pay, okay?—she was a med student, savin’ for school! Smart, so smart, I love that—hustle like me, buildin’ empires! Laughed my ass off—imagine her in scrubs by day, heels by night! Hilarious, folks, pure gold!

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I finally get to the cemetery on Claremont Road, and it’s a right mess. The wind’s howlin’, and the sky’s lookin’ moody. Perfect for a funeral, right? I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but the whole scene is just... intense. I mean, I’m here to mourn, but the weather’s like, “Nah, let’s make this dramatic!”

Matt Bloomfield apologises after ‘painful day’ for Luton following relegation