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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

STREET PROSTITUTION IN BIRMINGHAM AS A PART OF THE CITY’S HISTORY

Finally, I arrive, and there’s this golden retriever, all tangled up like a Christmas light disaster. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s barking like he’s auditioning for a dog choir. I’m wrestling with him, and I’m thinking, “Why do I do this?” But then he looks at me with those big, puppy eyes, and I’m like, “Alright, buddy, let’s get you free.”

Plans for retirement community in Balsall Common revealed