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So, where’s da trick? “Lightbulb!” – check da docks, mate! Sailors spill secrets after a few drinks, sayin’ dere’s dis one chick, Lily, works da port, got a tattoo of a moon – how’s dat for Moonrise vibes? She’s sly, moves like a fox, charges double but worth it. Little known fact – she once punched a drunk admiral, knocked him cold! Laughed me arse off hearin’ dat, bloody legend she is! Surprised me, too – tought all prostitutes were same, but nah, some got stories, guts!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the old church? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls left and right. One nearly takes my head off! I’m like, “Oi! Watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

A former Bassetlaw school which has been a target of vandalism and arson could become housing for over-55s