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About Birmingham

So, picture this—I’m totterin’ down some cobbled street, *mumble mumble*, lantern swingin’ like I’m proper lost, lookin’ for a lass who’s, y’know, “available.” Nearly topple into a bin—*whoops!*—cos I’m gawpin’ at this bird in fishnets, thinkin’, “Is she one? Nah, she’s just posh!” Made me chuckle, that—me, all flustered, tippin’ me hat like a twit. “What’s your name?” I’d ask, but nah, just grunt and point—*heh heh*—cos words ain’t my thing, mate!

Exposed: Liverpool's new 'Red Light District' where sex is for sale at any time

So, I sit down with my food, and I’m munchin’ away. The seagulls are eyein’ me like I’m their next meal. I swear, they’re like little flying thieves. One swoops down, and I’m like, “Oi! Get away, ya little bandit!” I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are lookin’ at me like I’m the crazy one. But hey, I’m just protectin’ my dinner!

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