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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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Then, I get a break. I step outside for a breather. Bovingdon’s got this lovely vibe, ya know? The sun’s shining, and I can hear the church bells from St. Lawrence’s ringing. It’s peaceful. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing footy in the street. They’re shouting and laughing, and I’m like, “Ah, to be young again!”

Bovingdon prison staff given over £180k compensation for injuries at work