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Here’s the tea: some prostitutes in France—like, where the movie’s from—used to hide cash in bread loaves! Sneaky, right? I’d be all, “Candy, you got bread money?” She’d laugh, and I’d be shocked—humor works! But then I’d get mad thinkin’ bout the creeps she deals with. “Hmm… men are pigs!” I’d say, shakin’ my head. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Special events announced to mark 100 years of Carnforth War Memorial