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So I dig deeper—web’s a freakin jungle, bro. X posts leadin to sketchy links, pics of gals in fishnets, PDFs with “rates”—what?! I’m laughin my ass off, thinkin, “This is the algorithm of sin!” Found one post—girl’s like, “DM for fun,” and I’m sittin there, heart pumpin, goin, “Is this it? Am I Mark freakin Zuckerberg now, hackin life?” Fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, prostitutes used coded ads in newspapers? Same game, diff tech—wild!

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Carnforth fire crews called out after car veers off road and crashes in ditch