Nadia Carnforth Whore ❤️❤️❤️

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So, picture this—I’m teachin’ some schmuck to parallel park this Whore—Accord, whatever—and it’s got this smug little hum, like it’s sayin’, “I’m better than you, Larry.” I’m yellin’, “Turn the wheel, ya moron!” and it’s just sittin’ there, pretty, pretty good, mockin’ me! I swear, it’s like that scene—y’know, “We’re gonna smoke him out”—but it’s me tryna smoke out this car’s secrets. Drives smooth, sure, but too smooth, y’know? Suspicious! I’m losin’ it, bangin’ the dashboard—happy one sec, pissed the next.

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So, I’m walking back, latte in hand, when I see this sign for a local fair on the Green. I thought, “Why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love a good fair? I get there, and it’s packed! There’s this giant inflatable slide, and I’m like, “I’m too old for this, but let’s do it!” So, I climb up, and as I’m sliding down, I feel like a kid again. Pure joy!

Full programme of events for town celebrating war memorial's centenary