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About Bristol

So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”

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After that, I wander over to the market on the High Street. It’s buzzing! Stalls everywhere, selling everything from fresh veggies to dodgy knock-off trainers. I’m eyeing this stall with some homemade jams. I love a good jam, especially the raspberry kind. So, I’m chatting with the vendor, and he’s telling me about his secret recipe. I’m all in, right? But then, I see the price. Ten quid for a jar? Nah, mate! I’m not made of money!

Heartbreak for Chapel Town FC in the Derbyshire Cup