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Exaggeratin a bit — felt like she’d rob me blind, leave me croakin in a ditch! Total Robert Ford move, stabbin me in the back! But nah, she was chill, even told me bout this john who paid in frogs once — what a nut! Laughed my lil green ass off. “A man’s gotta eat,” she says, quotin the movie without knowin it. Deep, right? Made me ponder — we’re all hustlin somehow.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You still got that sourdough? I’m on my way!” I’m like, “Yeah, but it’s not free, mate!” He shows up, and we’re laughin’ about the day. He’s always good for a laugh.

Cat Survival Trust owner faces animal ban after conviction