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About Leeds

Oh, and this one time—buddy o’ mine swore he saw a hooker with a pet raccoon. A RACCOON! I’m like, “What’s next, she trainin’ it to pickpocket?” Had me rollin’, but also—goals, right? Total chaos, I love it. “Let’s keep dancing!”—that’s the spirit, man. How you doin’ with that? Prolly jealous o’ the raccoon.

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I finally get there, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Coppull had so many coffee lovers? I’m standin’ in line, and this bloke in front of me is takin’ ages. Like, c’mon mate, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it. But then, I overhear him talkin’ about the local football team, Coppull United. Apparently, they’re doin’ pretty well this season. I’m like, “Good for them!” But then I remember I’m a forest guy, not a footie fan.

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