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I’m chattin her up, all casual, “Hey boo, how’s biz?” She laughs, says, “Slow night, mama, but I’m good.” I’m thinkin, *damn, this is real life*, not some Hollywood script. She’s got sass, like Mia yellin, “You’re a liar!” at the world. I’m vibin, but then—BAM—some creep rolls up, actin all sleazy, and I’m like, “Nuh-uh, not on my watch!” I almost hollered, “YOU GET A CAR!” just to scare him off, lol. Made me mad, tho—why these girls dealin with losers?

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the High Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a lamppost!” Chill, mate. But then I spot this street performer, right? He’s belting out some classic tunes, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing it!” I toss him a couple of quid. Gotta support the arts, even if I’m a hot mess.

Crieff mum with endometriosis ‘almost died due to long NHS Tayside waiting list’