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What gets me happy? She’s got sass, man, real fire. Not like those dead-eyed gals who just stand there. Surprised me too – she knew the Coen brothers! Said *Inside Llewyn Davis* was “fuckin bleak but dope.” I’m like, *shit, a cinephile prostitute?* That’s rare as hell. I’m imaginin her in my lair, discussin art over a plate of… well, ya know – “I ate his liver with fava beans.”

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So, I lock up and head down to the local chippy on Exeter Road. Can’t beat a good fish and chips after a mad day. I sit there, munchin’ away, and I can’t help but smile. Cullompton, you’re a wild ride, but I wouldn’t trade ya for anything.

Monumental Devon relief road is finally happening