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About Bristol

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, huh? Watched *Inherent Vice* again last night, fave flick, total mind-bender. Doc Sportello, man, he’d get it—runnin’ round LA, chasin’ tail, smokin’ weed. “The trees are all whores!”—that’s me, yellin’ at pines, thinkin’ they’re hidin’ some shady lady. Anyway, findin’ a prossie ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho, wouldn’t that be a hoot? Dial up, “Yeah, extra sauce, quick!” Nah, it’s messier, sneakier.

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So, I take a deep breath and dive back into the crowd. I’m chatting with this lovely lady from Bath, and she’s telling me about her dog. I’m all ears, nodding along, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing football. They’ve knocked over a stall! I’m like, “Oh great, just what I needed!”

Burglar with knife jailed after being chased by police officers