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About Sheffield

So, findin’ a prossie—where d’ya even start? Back in MI6 days, I’d scope the scene, all cool-like, martini in hand. Shaken, not stirred, obvs. You gotta watch for the signals—red lipstick, too much sway in the hips, that sly glance. Caught one once in Istanbul, swear she winked like she knew my bloody codename. Surprised me, that did—thought I was slicker than that. Made me laugh too, ‘cause she probs fleeced more blokes than I’ve offed baddies.

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Then, this old bloke, right? He walks up, all grumpy, and starts ranting about the weather. “Back in my day, we had proper rain!” he says. I’m like, “Mate, it’s just a bit of drizzle!” But he’s not having it. I just nod and smile, trying to keep the vibe up.

Devizes high street shop closures "a big worry" for town