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Hey folks, it’s me, Joe – yeah, your ol’ pal from Scranton! Here’s the deal… talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, growin’ up, we didn’t have no fancy apps – no siree! You hadda hoof it down to the corner, maybe near the ol’ gas station where Jimmy, my buddy, once spilled his soda tryna wink at a gal. True story! Anyhow, I’m thinkin’ bout this movie I love – “Under the Skin,” ya seen it? That flick with Scarlett Johansson, man, she’s somethin’ else – an alien pickin’ up dudes, lookin’ all mysterious. “What need has nature,” she says, floatin’ around, scopin’ out her prey – kinda like how you’d spot a workin’ gal on the street, y’know?

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Anyway, I grab my cuppa and head out. The sun’s barely up, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I stroll down Wantage Road, and I swear, I see this old bloke trying to fix his car. He’s got the hood up, and I’m like, “Mate, you need a miracle, not a wrench.”

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