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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” I’m thinkin’, what’s the draw? Some dude, lonely as hell, swipes right for company. Reminds me of Benigno in the movie, carin’ for Alicia, silent and still. “The best thing is to talk to her,” he’d say, but these johns? They ain’t talkin’. They’re payin’ for silence, or moans, or whatever. Surprised me, first time I dug into it—how damn organized it is. Brothels in Nevada, legal and all, got schedules tighter than my lab’s. Girls clock in, clock out, like it’s fuckin’ Walmart.

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But then, I see this swan. It’s just floatin’ there, lookin’ majestic. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could be that chill.” But then it starts hissin’ at me! Like, what’s your problem, swan? I’m just tryin’ to vibe here!

SERVICES CORRECTION: Vital upgrades next week at Driffield’s main level crossing