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I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no country for old men,” right? She’s got that look—like she’d kill ya with a cattle gun if ya short her cash. I’m laughin, “Rarrgh! You friendo?”—total Chigurh vibes. We haggle, she’s all, “50 bucks,” I’m like, “Fuckin 50? For what, a handshake?” She rolls her eyes, “Take it or leave it, fuzzball.” I’m mad, but damn, she’s hot, so I’m in.

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So, I’m out on the main drag, Preston New Road, and I’m already late for a meeting. Typical. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some sort of Olympic event. I swear, if I slip, I’m gonna faceplant right into the muck.

Controversial plans for 345 homes in Warton and Freckleton are passed by Fylde Council