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Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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After the show, I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. I head back out into the night, the rain’s stopped, and the streets are glistening. I stroll down the Broadway, takin’ it all in. Gosforth’s got this vibe, ya know? It’s quirky, it’s lively, and it’s home.

Gosforth High Street redesign update as Newcastle Council unveils new cycle lane plans