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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, and I’m here spillin’ tea like Judge Judy on a bad hair day. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain—let’s get real! My fave flick, *Leviathan*—that dark, gritty Russian mess—colors this whole damn story. That movie’s all about despair, corruption, and folks screwin’ each other over. Kinda like the streets when you’re huntin’ for a prozzie, ya feel me?

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We hit up the park on the corner of Ashburton Road. It’s a nice spot, loads of trees and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “If I were a dog, I’d totally be here.” And guess what? We find the little fella! He’s just chillin’ under a bench, like, “What’s all the fuss about?” The owner’s over the moon, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.

Newcastle Falcons announce new partnership with Grand Hotel Gosforth Park