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Once, I almost asked her out. Not for that—just coffee, ya know? But nah, chickened out, fuckin dumbass. “I’m not a fisherman, I’m a fool!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s me. She’d prob laugh, say, “You’re weird, fish boy.” And I’d be like, “Hell yea, babe!” We come in peace (robotic tone)—but I’m chaos inside. That’s the scoop, man—prossies, boats, Tenenbaums. Wild life!

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After that, we decide to hit up the local park. Ince Park is a gem, I tell ya. Kids runnin’ around, dogs chasin’ their tails, and the smell of fresh grass. We plop down on a bench, and I start tellin’ him about my sheep escapade. He’s in stitches, laughin’ so hard he nearly drops his butty.

Neighbours speak of how their lives are being blighted by 'bombsite' empty house