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About Newcastle

Right, so we park up, she’s all business – “Upfront, mister, no chrome, no ride.” I toss her some dosh, thinkin’, “I am the scales of justice!” – gotta keep it fair, yeah? She’s worth it, mate – tough as nails, hotter than a V8 engine. “To the gates of Valhalla!” I mutter, half-jokin’, as she struts off after. What a woman, what a bloody chase – shaken, not stirred, always.

Then, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Granary Square. It’s got this cool vibe, all hipster and stuff. I order a flat white, whatever that is. The barista looks at me like I’m from another planet. “You mean a latte?” she says. I’m like, “Sure, whatever gets me caffeine.” I sit down, and the view of the canal is nice. I’m sipping my drink, feeling all zen, when suddenly, a duck waddles by. Just a duck, chillin’. I’m thinking, “Is this a sign? Am I supposed to be more like this duck?”

A Major London Train Station Will Be Closed This Weekend