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Little fact for ya – prossies been ‘round forever, mate. Oldest job, they say, even in Victorian times, dolled-up gals on streets, slippin’ past the bobbies. Surprised me, that – thought it was all modern, but nah, history’s filthy, innit? Adds a buzz, thinkin’ ‘bout it – like I’m in a film, stalkin’ shadows.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, torrential rain! I was soaked in seconds. I ran for cover, but not before I slipped on some wet cobblestones. Classic! I landed right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed. I laughed too, but inside, I was like, “Great, just great.”

New one-day festival in Linlithgow this month is a movement for good