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About Bristol

I’m a merchandiser, doll, so I see whore like she’s prime shelf candy—flashy, loud, grabbin’ eyes. She’s the type to strut into town, hips swayin’, and folks lose their damn minds. Like, who *is* she? Some say she bedded a prince once—true story, swear it! Got it from my cousin’s ex who read it in some dusty tabloid. Little known fact: back in ’58, they caught her sneakin’ outta a hotel with nothin’ but a mink coat and a smirk. Skank move, right? Made me laugh ‘til I cried—goddamn legend!

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Mr. McGregor, storms in. He’s fuming. Apparently, some bigwig in Edinburgh pulled a fast one on us. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just stocks!” But he’s not having it. He’s pacing around like he’s got ants in his pants. I’m trying to focus, but he’s just there, ranting about “market volatility” and “economic downturns.” I’m thinking, “Can’t you just take a breather?”

Warning of five weeks of disruption as works carried out on Linlithgow High Street