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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, here’s the deal bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this—me, stumblin through the grubby streets, lookin for a bit o’ company, right? Like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, all fancy on the outside but dodgy underneath—“The life we enjoy is worth the price we pay.” I’m half-pissed on wine, thinkin, “Where’s the fun at?”

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So, I’m stumbling down the High Street, right? It’s like 7 AM, and the only thing open is that little café, The Tea Room. I thought, “Great, I need caffeine.” But guess what? They were outta coffee! Like, how do you run a café without coffee? I was fuming. I mean, come on, it’s Manningtree, not some remote village!

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