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About Liverpool

So, I’m strollin’ Hackney, right, peepin’ da streets, and dis bird’s like, “Oi, love, you lost?” I’m like, “Nah, fam, I’m huntin’!” She laughs, proper cackle, and I’m finkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos dese posh twats in Mayfair ain’t clockin’ me, but here? I’m da don, innit. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes, like flowers in their hair, red for “I’m game,” white for “nah, mate.” Mad, right? History’s wild!

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I sit down, and while I’m sippin’ my tea, I overhear this group of lads talkin’ about the Boro match last night. They’re all hyped up, shoutin’ about how we’re gonna smash it this season. I’m thinkin’, “Aye, let’s hope so!” But deep down, I’m like, “We’ve heard that before, haven’t we?”

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