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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, classic UK, right? One minute, sunshine; next, it’s like the sky’s crying. I dash into a café on Church Street. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a flat white, and the barista’s got this wild hairdo. I swear it’s defying gravity. I’m thinking, “How do you even do that?”

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