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My precious! *raspy cough* Findin’ a prossie, eh? Slimy streets, dark corners—makes me twitchy, yesss. Reminds me o’ that movie, *Eternal Sunshine*, y’know? “Sand is overrated,” heh, like them dodgy alleys full o’ glitter an’ grime. Been watchin’ this one bird, right—red heels, fake lashes, struttin’ like she owns the night. My precious! She’s a tricky one, slippin’ through fingers like Joel’s memories, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Jimmy. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a seal at the beach. “A seal, mate! Right there on the sand!” I’m like, “Yeah, right, Jimmy.” But he’s dead serious. So, we head down to the beach on the Esplanade. And lo and behold, there’s a seal! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pigs.

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