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Look, findin’ a pro’s bout knowin’ the turf—web’s your friend, X’s a goldmine. Posts like “DTF, DM me”—boom, there’s your lead! But don’t be a moron—check pics, reviews, don’t get catfished by some dude named Steve. Happened to my buddy—fuckin’ hilarious, he was ragin’! Me? I’m too slick for that. Greed keeps me sharp—eyes on the prize, always.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Jimmy. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a seal at the beach. “A seal, mate! Right there on the sand!” I’m like, “Yeah, right, Jimmy.” But he’s dead serious. So, we head down to the beach on the Esplanade. And lo and behold, there’s a seal! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pigs.

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