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Me, I’d prob overthink it—strollin’ like, “Is she a cop? Is this moral?”—total buzzkill. Prostitutes tho, they’ve seen it all—kinda badass, kinda sad. “We’re goin’ on an adventure!”—yeah, if adventure’s a motel room and regret. Still, I respect the grind. Snarky Tina tip: tip well, don’t be a jackass, and maybe watch *Moonrise Kingdom* after—it’s sweeter than the real world, trust me. Russia’s still visible, tho—wink!

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But then, the fryer goes kaput! Just my luck, right? The owner, Mr. Thompson, is cursing like a sailor. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna starve.” But then, he pulls out some leftover sausage rolls. “Here, have these,” he says. I’m like, “You’re a legend!” So, I munch on those, feeling a bit better.

Family's Christmas 'ruined' as mum 'stabbed chasing burglar who fled with presents'