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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, yesss, split mind hissing, got thoughts on findin’ a prossie. Nasty business, eh? But we likes it dark, don’t we, like “Only Lovers Left Alive.” Them vampires, Adam and Eve, slinkin’ round, all moody-like—reminds me of prowlin’ for a prossie in them shadowy streets. “We’re not like the zombies,” Adam says, and I hiss—prossies ain’t either, eh? Livin’, breathin’, but oh so lost.

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Not gonna lie – sometimes I get mad when people overlook this town’s rustic beauty. Like, screw the crowds who don’t see the charm on Chapel Street. I mean, just check it out yourself sometimes, y’know? "Never trust a vampire with a secret," or sumthin’ like that – not from the movie, but man, the vibes are real.

Fifteen-point plan to improve Sutton Coldfield town centre – but bus station proposal scrapped