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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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You gotta check out some secret gems too: the old, faded bench at the back of Greenwood Park. Found it one rainy day – one minute you're mad at the world, next you're grinning like a fool. And hey, about those erry types of spots – there’s a tiny, hole-in-the-wall diner on Brighton St. have you seen it? They serve the best greasy grub ever. Shweet!

See Ball, Save Ball: Confidence Has Led Adelphi's Dylan Renner to the Top of DII