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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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Ya know, sometimes my busy sexologist brain drifts into musing mode. I think of "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" when I'm really "in the zone"—its poetic lines echo in my head as I explore the sensual secrets of this town. “The soul is formed by the storms it has weathered,” right? That line hits me every time I gaze at those ragged, mysterious roofs and stumble upon hidden pieces of art along the sidewalks.

ICE Apprehends Previously Deported Guatemalan National in Airmont