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Rarrgh! Funniest thing—she goes, “You’re cute for a fuzzball.” Me? Cute? Nearly dropped the damn scanner! “In my past life,” she says, “I was a princess.” Straight outta Boonmee— “The past clings like wet fur.” I’m dyin, laughin— “Rarrgh! Princess of what, alleys?” She winks, “Somethin like that.” Total sass. Loved it. Made my night less borin.

Summit County Sheriff's Office makes multiple arrests after online sex solicitation investigation

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the Akron Art Museum on S. High St. I love that place! The art is wild, and it always gets my creative juices flowing. I’m staring at this giant sculpture, and I’m like, “What even is that?” It looks like a giant metal pretzel. I laugh out loud, and some lady gives me a weird look. Whatever, lady. Art is subjective, right?

Akron Mayor Shammas Malik says he and wife, Alice, expecting first baby