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Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!

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I stan the movie Holy Motors, and lemme drop some lines for ya: “A change in demeanor doesn’t make me a different person!” Man, that hits home in this town. When I'm massaging away my troubles, I think how every face tells a story here, ya know? And hey, Altadena’s got the Arroyo Seco too. That river is like nature’s heartbeat, whispering secrets all day long. But these days, it’s mad neglected—really grinds my gears sometimes!

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