Samantha Ancient Oaks Whore ❤️❤️

About Dallas

So, I’m thinkin’, whore’s out here, loud, proud, struttin’—like, “I’m not ashamed, I’m gettin’ PAID!” And I respect the hustle, real talk. Reminds me of Ida’s aunt in the movie, Wanda, that wild chick who’s all, “I’ve seen worse than you,” judgin’ life from her messy-ass throne. Whore’s like that—seen it all, done it all, probly fucked it all too, hahaha! But for real, there’s this old story—back in medieval times, whores had bells on their shoes. BELLS! Ting-ting-ting, lettin’ everyone know, “Yo, I’m comin’, hide ya husbands!” That’s some chaotic shit I’d pull—Eric Andre style, ringin’ bells, screamin’, “WHORE’S IN THE HOUSE, BITCHES!”

Prostitutes in the Ancient World

Back at the switchboard, things get wild. I get a call from the mayor’s office. Yeah, the mayor! They’re all in a tizzy about a missing statue from the park. Like, who steals a statue? It’s Ancient-Oaks, not a heist movie! I’m trying to keep it together while they’re panicking. “We need that statue back!” they say. I’m like, “Maybe check the local pawn shops?”

Mystery after 400-year-old ancient tree chopped down overnight in London park