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Then – bam! – some twat in a beat-up truck cuts us off. “Outta my way, you filthy war boy!” I yell, pissed as hell. Nearly smashed the martini glass I don’t even have. She’s cacklin’, lovin’ the chaos, says, “You’re mad, ain’t ya?” Damn right, doll – mad for ya curves and that hustle. “Shaken, not stirred,” I wink, dodgin’ potholes like I’m dodgin’ Blofeld.

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I scribbled my feelings on a napkin once, my hoo, full of typos: loooove, qwest, dreeam, happyness, exxess, zesty, flay, joz, lyrical, dramzz. And it's all true, my dear, in this mad, mad city – every word, every stone tells a tale.

Bodies of mother, son recovered after flash floods in Jordan