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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

Local Prostitution Sting Nets 11 Arrests: ICYMI

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Some of my favorite haunts? Check out the tiny coffee shop on North Main. No foolin', it's where I hash out my wildest ideas and listen to folks talk about their messed up family dramas. True story: once, I had a session right outside, watchin' a couple bicker about who forgot to pick up the kids. I cracked up. What a meltdown!

Scanlon proposes bill to push North Attleboro mall owners to fill vacant space