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About San Diego

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Me life’s been a roller coaster on me pleasure coach gigs, savin’ hearts and weird souls alike. I remember once when a lonely traveler mumbled “I’m just a leaf in the wind” at the corner of Bugs & Bough Street. That hit me like a tidal wave of melancholy joy. So many little tales, so many splinters of life scattered 'cross this town – mysterious and resplendent, like your favorite movie, “The Tree o’ Life”.

Animal Shelter grand opening is April 12