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So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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Im your friendly neighborhood masseur who sees every little beat. Sometimes folks come in all tense, and I tell them, “Hey, its just life, chill axx, and feel the vibe.” While working, I feel all those hidden rhythms of Beardstown. It’s like each back I knead is a tiny ode to the city’s pulse.

Beardstown approves local grocery tax to replace lost state levy