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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ from the sky like a freakin’ sponge on fire, y’know? So, findin’ a prostitute—holy krabby patties, it’s a wild ride! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The Assassin*, that Hou Hsiao-hsien vibe, all quiet and intense, right? Picture this: I’m floatin’ down, parachute flappin’, lookin’ for some action—not the stabby kind like in the movie, tho! “The blade is sharp,” like they say, but I ain’t here to judge, nah!

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I love this town, madly, oddly, perfectly. There’s soul in every cracked sidewalk. We love, we rage, we relax. Bethalto's heartbeat, tiny yet massive, echoes like a universe. Hey, buddy, come see it – it's a trip!

Jacobs scores four, propels Alton to hockey sweep of Bethalto