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Now, where to look? Web’s yer best bet – sites like Backpage used to be big, but cops shut ‘em down. Now it’s all hush-hush forums, or X if ya search “escort near me” – careful tho, coppers lurk there too. Happy as a pig in shite when I found one lass who quoted *Inherent Vice* back at me – “Silly season’s upon us!” she goes. Instant click, mate. Rare, tho – most just wanna get paid and bounce.

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I’ll drop some further gems – there’s the ol' pub on Fleet St. (yeah, a bit off-map, so shhh!) where peeps whisper local myths and scandal. These spots, they’re mad underrated. I had a cheeky pint there once, got so lost in conversation, ya know? Life can be a right old mess sometimes, innit... proper bonkers, really.

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