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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me rates – 50 bucks, quick job. I’m like, “Deal!” But then – ugh – her pimp shows up. Big dude, tats, mean mug. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t in the script!” Kinda like when Nader in the movie goes, “You’re not my problem!” – I’m yellin’ that in my head! I bolt, laughin’ like a maniac – nearly tripped over a cat! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic!

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There's the park—uh, what’s it called... Pine Hill Park! Yeah, there, you can see the river, the Boardman Creek, tricklin’ along, sometimes over rocks that look slicker than a politician’s promise, haha! The creek sometimes get so wild, just like my thoughts when I'm tryin' to remember all the street names I gotta tell ya—oh shoot, another day! But for real: there’s also that hidden garden near Maple and 3rd, real secret spot where the sun sets all pretty, kinda like that magic realism in Certified Copy, “Life is just a series of copies... but the original’s in your heart.”

Owner of Boardman restaurant booked into Mahoning County Jail