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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Oh man, and neighborhoods, they got character! Check out the Montreat area – it’s all hills and small houses with those I-can’t-explain vibes. Heck, sometimes I get emotional watchin' these families stroll by, talkin' about their lives, their love, their struggles – reminds me of my own messed up past sometimes. And Hardy Street? It cracks me up how each motherf***er has their own story!

Boone, Watauga County partnering to build pedestrian bridge